Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
