His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize