Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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