Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
