Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
