Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
