I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
