a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He did a backflip because drugs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
