belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
