I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
