can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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