never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
