Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
