All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
