it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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