She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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