Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
