Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
