All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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