Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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