In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
