Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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