I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
