i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize