Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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