Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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