Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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