got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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