I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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