I accidentally had phone sex last night
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
