Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize