I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
