there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
