drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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