I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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