We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
