Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
