My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
