She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
