Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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