He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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