I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
