thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
