Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
found the other keg... it's in the tree
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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