Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You have to summon your inner elephant
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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