Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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