Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
