...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
