Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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