If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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