Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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