she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The beer is more important than you right now.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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