can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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