Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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