When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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