if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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