Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
