Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
