My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
