Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
