OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
